The Sort Of Things I Get Up To While Mildly Intoxicated (on cold medicine) And Armed With My Ego

Apparently I'm marrying a exceedingly attractive and witty Russian man from the City and we're going to start an Institute of assassins, and generally superior good-looking people. Our progeny will rule the world. Then they will fight me and Ren's spawn to death. I will rent out a coliseum for this event.

Frankly, I'm going to have to do a lot of procreating, and the sooner we start, the sooner I can declare myself Empress and finally have an excuse for being so pompous.

Of course, this means I'll have to build a palace. And if there's any place to build a palace, it's in the City. So I think I'll have my fiendish army take over Manhattan and convert that entire part of the city into one vast interconnected palace structure. We'll have a mixture of old Chinese dynasty roofs, Russian towers, those strange English castles, and basically hybrid architecture. But we'll hire people who know what they're doing so it looks cool.

Maybe some Tudor thrown in, because I'm a New England sorta gal.

Also, skyscrapers. I want to own a skyscraper and spend most of my days on the roof playing the cello and watching the helicopters. I don't play the cello and I despise heights but I figure if I have to be some sort of Empress-Assassin-God then I'm going to need a disguise to put people off their guard. It's either that or throwing harpsichords off said roof onto random passerby, which I might just do anyways.Though from that height it's disorienting and hard to aim.

From here, I will establish my Empire. I am unsure where to start, but New York makes for a great staging point for anyone to start a political ascendancy. We'll be a dictatorship soon enough, and really, I'd rather be the woman in charge than the woman sitting on her butt staring at the television saying "To hell with me running I knew I shoulda taken up the Russian on his offer!". This is why you always take up Russians on their offers. They are an especially crafty folk. They're not Italians by any means, but you can still have a rough time of it playing them in chess. Only in a waffle house, though. They get temperamental if they lose at chess in any place but a waffle house. They'll stab you any place else. But Russians are amazing at chess.

And waffles are awesome.

But anyways. After making myself the New York Empress with my court a Minister Of State, I'll make Kat the Court Jester, and I'll have appointed a whole bunch of other people I know into various positions of power because I figure that's a good way to stay amused and be an American -- put your friends into office with you so you're never bored. It works for other administrations. Plus we could all get drunk and start fights with peasants.

Am I getting ahead of myself? I think I am. After the New York Empire takes over the rest of the states, I shall declare myself the Great North American God Empress, because I like declaring stuff, and then I'll bring the entire hemisphere into a new age of cyberpunk sword fights, gun fights, eugenics by way of harpoon guns, feudal democracy, and contradictory politics for my own sick amusement. Soon there will be Great Houses, political factions, guilds, and eventually the Landsraad, and then I can die happy, and OD'd on Dune references. And melange, because I'd want to live a long time and I'd chew that stuff like it was Pez.

He who controls the Pez, controls the universe!

It'll be great.

Grace