POSTING
Ok Kat here with a post, seeing as i've been neglecting my duties as a blogger but thankfully the wonderful Ms. Taft was posting.
Christmas is coming and i've been really trying hard to make this a CHRISTmas if ya catch my drift. And i've also been trying very hard to continually talk to God, to make it a point of spending a bit of me and the Father time.
As you all know my mum is busted up so i've been staying home this past week and takin' care of her. I've been struggling to see this as a way of serving for God and less the middle child being dragged into more chores. Although it has been very hard to not get angry, i've been trying to use it as a way to hang with my mum anyways plus to get stuff done. All the gift i have bought so far a wrapped, the tree is completely decorated, some of the house is getting decorated and i've found some of my fav cds. Cleaning and orginazation is good. But sometimes i still struggle with the feelings of it being a burden that i was forced to bear. Which i know isn't right. But unfortunatly still there.
Recently i've found myself contemplating all kinds of things more and more. Mostly i've been trying to figure out this restlessness in me. Its constantly there and i can't seem to apease it or at least understand it. I just feel as if something is coming, I don't know what but everytime i pray about it this feeling grows stronger and more piercing. Its sooo frustrating to have this constant, i dunno even how to explain it, its almost like i know there is something more out there! Something huge and undescrible! So so close as if its waiting right around the corner! As if its like a word or a name thats hanging on the tip of my tongue or right of grasp and i just can't reach it! ugh...i just dunno. And again i've prayed and prayed for understanding and for knowledge and for wisdom and sense but all that happens is this feeling intensives!! GAHH!! *angerangeranger*
-KAT
Christmas is coming and i've been really trying hard to make this a CHRISTmas if ya catch my drift. And i've also been trying very hard to continually talk to God, to make it a point of spending a bit of me and the Father time.
As you all know my mum is busted up so i've been staying home this past week and takin' care of her. I've been struggling to see this as a way of serving for God and less the middle child being dragged into more chores. Although it has been very hard to not get angry, i've been trying to use it as a way to hang with my mum anyways plus to get stuff done. All the gift i have bought so far a wrapped, the tree is completely decorated, some of the house is getting decorated and i've found some of my fav cds. Cleaning and orginazation is good. But sometimes i still struggle with the feelings of it being a burden that i was forced to bear. Which i know isn't right. But unfortunatly still there.
Recently i've found myself contemplating all kinds of things more and more. Mostly i've been trying to figure out this restlessness in me. Its constantly there and i can't seem to apease it or at least understand it. I just feel as if something is coming, I don't know what but everytime i pray about it this feeling grows stronger and more piercing. Its sooo frustrating to have this constant, i dunno even how to explain it, its almost like i know there is something more out there! Something huge and undescrible! So so close as if its waiting right around the corner! As if its like a word or a name thats hanging on the tip of my tongue or right of grasp and i just can't reach it! ugh...i just dunno. And again i've prayed and prayed for understanding and for knowledge and for wisdom and sense but all that happens is this feeling intensives!! GAHH!! *angerangeranger*
-KAT
posted by CleanSlate @ 12:03 PM
1 Comments:
At 7:18 PM ,
FL PT said...
Hey woman. I'm proud of you for staying home and taking care of your Mom when there are many other things I know you want to do. It is right that you are doing your best to not be angry and to look at this as an opportunity to serve. Satan wants you to be angry and resentful that you can't be out doing other things...so don't let him take you down that road. From the looks of your post, it seems that you are giving satan the boot...keep it up. Serving is what God has planned for all of us.
As for feeling like something is right around the corner...it is. All in God's time will it come together. When I was struggling, not knowing what I would do w/ my life (as far as picking a career & getting in to grad school goes), I wrestled with the same feeling that you have. Finally, after much prayer and struggle against what I wanted, I gave it to God and said "I don't know! I'm done trying to figure it out myself b/c I am driving myself crazy!" From that day on, I let it be...and decided that I wasn't in control and that His plan was perfect. I still felt anxious at times b/c I didn't know what He had planned... but after a few weeks I got my notification from USF that I had been accepted to PT school. Finally! An answer! I knew which direction God was pointing me toward. Ok, long story short... I can understand how you feel about not knowing what is in store for you...but from experience I know that God has marvelous plans for each of us and He will reveal it when the time is perfect.
I don't know if that made any sense... I lobe ya tons.
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