Rules

Ok i thought these were hysterical and i think they apply to almost any father when it comes to dating his girl.


Rules of Dating a Marine's Daughter

Rule One:
If you pull into my driveway and honk, you'd better be delivering a package, because you're sure not picking anything up.

Rule Two:
You do not touch my daughter in front of me. You may glance at her, so long as you do not peer at anything below her neck. If you cannot keep your eyes or hands off of my daughter's body, I will remove them.

Rule Three:
I am aware that it is considered fashionable for boys of your age to wear their trousers so loosely that they appear to be falling off their hips. Please don't take this as an insult, but you and all of your friends are complete idiots. Still, I want to be fair and open-minded about this issue, so I propose this compromise: You may come to the door with your underwear showing and your pants ten sizes too big, and I will not object. However, in order to ensure that your clothes do not come off during the course of your date with my daughter, I will take my electric nail gun and fasten your trousers securely in place to your waist.

Rule Four:
I'm sure you've been told that in today's world sex without utilizing a "barrier method" of some kind can kill you. Let me elaborate. When it comes to sex, I am the barrier, and I will kill you.

Rule Five:
It is usually understood that in order for us to get to know each other, we should talk about sports, politics, and other issues of the day. Please do not do this. The only information I require from you is an indication of when you expect to have my daughter safely back at my house, and the only word I need from you on this subject is "early."

Rule Six:
I have no doubt you are a popular fellow, with many opportunities to date other girls. This is fine with me as long as it is okay with my daughter. Otherwise, once you have gone out with my little girl, you will continue to date no one but her until she is finished with you. If you make her cry, I will make you cry.

Rule Seven:
As you stand in my front hallway, waiting for my daughter to appear, and more than an hour goes by, do not sigh and fidget. If you want to be on time for the movie, you should not be dating. My daughter is putting on her makeup, a process that can take longer than painting the Golden Gate Bridge. Instead of just standing there, why don't you do something useful, like changing the oil in my car?

Rule Eight:
The following places are not appropriate for a date with my daughter: Places where there are beds, sofas, or anything softer than a wooden stool. Places where there are no parents, policemen, or nuns within eyesight. Places where there is darkness. Places where there is dancing, holding hands, or happiness. Places where the ambient temperature is warm enough to induce my daughter to wear shorts, tank tops, midriff T-shirts, or anything other than overalls, a sweater, and a goose down parka - zipped up to her throat. Movies with a strong romantic or sexual theme are to be avoided; movies that feature chain saws are okay. Hockey games are okay. Old folks homes are better.

Rule Nine:
Do not lie to me. On issues relating to my daughter, I am the all-knowing, merciless god of your universe. If I ask you where you are going and with whom, you have one chance to tell me the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. I have a shotgun, a shovel, and five acres behind the house. Do not trifle with me.

Rule Ten:
Be afraid. Be very afraid. It takes very little for me to mistake the sound of your car in the driveway for a chopper coming in over the Iraqi desert ... the voices in my head frequently tell me to clean the guns as I wait for you to bring my daughter home. As soon as you pull into the driveway you should exit your car with both hands in plain sight. Speak the perimeter password, announce in a clear voice that you have brought my daughter home safely and early, then return to your car - there is no need for you to come inside. The camouflaged face at the window is mine.

Rules of Dating a Marine's Son

Rule One:
Be agreeable and cook him a nice hot meal whenever possible. (Prerequisite: Learn to cook)

driven

I've kinda been driven to write about this and I don't know why. Perhapes it has to do with Steve talkin' in church about covering our wounds. I know i do mine. And perhapes its because i'm ashamed of them of being hurt or perhapes it has to do with my need to be independent to be able to stand alone and not need help. Which of course always brings my down fall.

Examining myself is something that i try not to do. I'm sure everyone tries not to do it. I've found that in my want to be with someone I've thrown myself at independence. I'll admit it, i'm lonely. I curl up sometimes at night and just ache for someone besides my cat to curl up with. Who will hold me and love me for who I am, who will want to be with me. I know its silly, and even cliched, but its how i feel. I hide it i know because truth be told i'm ashamed of it. I hate feeling like a petty female, who wants her life to be like a Danielle Steel novel. I've prayed to God for help to understand it. I've prayed that he make the need for a partner to go away that i can be happy in my single life, but he won't. Maybe hes just using it as a lesson, as a way to get me to cling to him tighter. But i'm clinging so hard my fingers are bleeding! And i'm tired, so very tired of waiting. Of getting my hopes up and having them dashed upon the rocks of reality. People wonder why someone can get caught up in books or tv or video games, its because life sucks. Its tough and lonesome and tiring and down right cruel. I don't know why i'm typing this, i feel silly and stupid for doing so but i feel like I should so i am. Maybe someone else can make sense of it. Cause i can't. Ya know sometimes i walk down the halls and school and think, what do those girls have that i don't? Am i that repulsive, that scary, that whatever that guys just aren't attracted to me?! I know its the devil trying to tear me down and most days it works, i've tried to make myself stop and to think why, that most likely its because God doesn't want me with anyone right now, or something...poo. Ya'll are probably reading this thinking what a loser. Miss different and independent is just like every one else. Thats how i feel, i try to maitain this image this aura of indeference, but i do care i do hurt i do want things that everyone else wants. So i'm not the cool wierd girl that everyone likes just because she doesn't give a damn what everyone thinks, but sometimes i do care. I want a guy to look at me and say, wow, you look good today or whatever. I want a V-day card, for once that didn't come from a friend, my parents, or myself. Is that really too much to ask? maybe it is and i don't realize it. Maybe i'm being selfish in wanting these things and that i should stop. That i should start thinking about what other people want what other people need instead of this growing ache in my chest.
Make sense of it please!

HeavenlyFather i just pray that whatever happens happens because you will it that way. Please watch over us all and guide us and protect us no matter what happens. I know that you have the best in mind for me and i just ask that i can see your plan so that i'm not here freakin' out because i'm human and a control freak, perhapes i should just learn to have complete faith in you and should learn not to worry. Amen

thanks for listening to my ramblings or at least skimming them.
-kat

New Blog!

Ok, so new blog. Yippee. To explain why we (grace&me) got a new blog is because of some realtionship issues with other bloggers on the web. They didn't like the fact that we were christians and so flamed us and we were upset so decided to not further the incident and just create a new blog and hopefully avoided any further conflict. If you want the further story ask me, because i don't feel like typing it.
Also because we decided that our previous band name didn't fit. and so we changed it to this.
see ya wed.
ttfn
-Ms. Kat