Pah

It is truly a sad day when no one comments on the slightly deranged posting of the GRACE. But oh well obviously her and my own intelligence is wasted upon you. But seeing as how i'm such a kind and wonderful person i shall grace you with more spoutings of incredibliness.

Moving swiftily forward. So my sweet dearest Angie is back in the state of doom. Otherwise known to you ignorent people as Florida. We are all praying for her safe return to the Land of Cool aka here. Why is desolate Kansas deemed the Land of Cool? Well, because i'm currently residing here thats why. Silly children.

Well, i shall become 18 in a mere four days. Can your dear young souls process this information? It means i shall become one with the land of no bedtimes. Also the land of no restrictions by law. MUAHAHAHAHA! OH the joy i shall have! Do not fear my little ones you shall not come to harm, only the police will have a new and more beatiful poster to grace their blank walls. (if you didn't understand what i just said you are very very simple indeed)

-kat

And Thou Shalt Know

I am the God Of All Intahrnets! Whoa, there's that hubris thing again. Gotta remember to keep that under control on occasion. Bah. I'm ten shades of amazing and you miscreant little blog addicts know it.

The job hunt has proven fruitless. And there's also a distinct lack of vegetables involved too, although their role in my future employment is vastly understated. But at least people have the common sense to stop asking. For the best -- I'd hit them with my briefcase, and I already busted one of the latches doing that a few days back. Miserable luck. I don't have the cash flow to replace it now.

People keep asking me about casual clothes, seeing as it's mid-nineties weather and I'm still in multi-layered dark colores. I ask them why they cannot comprehend my psychopathic dedication to a classy wardrobe.

In other news…

I wish I was branching out with my writing more. Yet, hostile, elitist misanthropy with antagonistic overtones of hopelessness and sheer arrogance seem to be doing me just fine. The only real deviations have been Trapped In Enamored Nostalgia, which captured youthful insecurity and infatuation, and "So, what are you going to do with the rest of your life", which captured sheer fatalism and despair. And both of them were incredibly well writ! I need to do more like that.

The other day, I wrote another blog. It's actually fairly good, but I still hate myself. It could be worse -- I could be one of those traitors who shuts down their blog. Or I might just randomly to mess with people.

Anyway, here it is…

On second thought…

No…

The Atheist

Ok so i recived this as an email and thought it wonderful beyond belief.


An atheist was walking through the woods."What majestic trees"!"What powerful rivers"!"What beautiful animals"! He said to himself.As he was walking alongside the river, he heard a rustling in thebushes behind him. He turned to look. He saw a 7-foot grizzly charge towardshim. He ran as fast as he could up the path. He looked over his shoulder & saw that the bear was closing in on him.He looked over his shoulder again, & the bear was even closer. He tripped & fell on the ground. He rolled over to pick himself up but saw that the bear was right on top of him, reaching for him with his left paw & raising his right paw to strike him.At that instant the Atheist cried out, "Oh my God!"Time Stopped.The bear froze.The forest was silent.As a bright light shone upon the man, a voice came out of the sky."You deny my existence for all these years, teach others I don't exist and even credit creation to cosmic accident." "Do you expect me to help youout of this predicament? Am I to count you as a believer"?The atheist looked directly into the light, "It would be hypocriticalof me to suddenly ask you to treat me as a Christian now, but perhaps you could make the BEAR a Christian"?"Very Well," said the voice.The light went out. The sounds of the forest resumed. And the bear dropped his right paw, brought both paws together, bowed his head & spoke:"Lord bless this food, which I am about to receive from thy bounty through Christ our Lord, Amen."

AH! its soo pretty...let us all take this wonderfully deep lesson to heart...and giggle.
-kat

Grace's Report on Devil's Tuesday

So apparently, because it was the sixth of June on 2006, we were supposed to have some sort of heretical calendar convergence that's denoting Luficer's presence, as a day. Yes, today we will pay the devil his due in this manufactured allotment of unholy misbehavior. I don't know how this happened, I would have thought people at least gifted enough to have the whole thing thrown off by the zero in 6/6/06, but apparently we like the Satan more than we like our memories of passing simple elementary school math.

This is good for the slackers out there. Now you can blame the malefic forces of darkness for your shitty math grades. It's not the inhereted lack of algebra skills from your retarded parents, or the pill-sponsored ADHD your doc says you have, no, it's Beelzebub himself who made you flunk out of math.

Go humanity, you bright shining star.

It's also Punch An Emo Kid day, which has resulted in gratuitous amounts of sheep-brained people posting that excitingly adorable little promo poster for it, and a prolific sense of violent bigotry towards the most hated (yet most obscenely prevalent) sub-sect of humanity these days.

I was simply unaware, you know, we needed a specific day to punch emo kids.

I thought punching emo kids was something for every day. For a bit of stress relief. For when you see one of the little girl-jeans wearing shits ordering coffee at your favorite cafe. For when you see them walking on the street, talking about the utter suckitude of life in a way that would make the most nihilistic of goth kids roll their eyes and backhand them with one of those spikey wristlets.

But no. Now we need mandated Emo Punching Days.

Now, trust me. I want those emo kids hurt as much as possible. Some days I want to find a little emo crackbaby and torture it in the most brutal way possible. That would not only be amusing, but also well worth the intial amusement, which would be force-feeding an emo mother crack. Let's cut the ears of their whiny little corpses and make necklaces out of them a la Vietnam.

The only thing more that really ticks me off about this day is the fact that all the prophesies lied to me. 666 my ass, it's 6606. Nostradamus obviously failed math...because of the devil! Revelation (NOT RevelationS) is a lie! (calm down, I'm only half serious)

...yeah, I think this entry just turned into Apocalypse Now meets The Omen.

- the infamous ms. grace

Life in my lane

So ya, i've been feeling kinda lonely lately. Generally i don't post this kinda info and stuff, but i guess i could use some prayer. I'm just really tired of being alone. I've prayed to God and stuff but i'm still alone. I know its stupid and girly but thats how i've been feeling lately. I just really want someone who i can curl up against and they can make everything feel better, or at least make me feel wanted and needed. I just have been feeling like a third wheel, kinda out of sync, not nessacarly unwanted but just unneeded. Like i kinda hang around the back ground, on the edge and not really a part of anything. I know God has someone planned for me, i just pray that he comes sooner than later. Someone who will want me and need me and someone i want and need, and that we both are after God. I'm just soo exhausted emotionally that it makes me so tired physically, and that isn't right. I shouldn't sleep as much as i do. It isn't healthy. Gah....i just really need some prayer. LOTS of prayer. bleh.